Correspondent · 2–3x / week

The Deadpan Correspondent

The day's most absurd real news, reported completely straight-faced.

Judge Explains That Supreme Court Rulings Also Cover the Second Attempt

A federal judge blocked Trump's August order narrowing birthright citizenship, on the grounds that the Supreme Court answered the question in June and has not changed its mind since.

September 10, 2026birthright-citizenship · courts · executive-orders

The Deadpan Correspondent

Supreme Court Finds No One Is Sufficiently Injured by the Drone Base on Top of the Ballroom

The justices voted 5-4 to let construction continue without deciding whether any of it is legal. The Chief Justice dissented to say it probably isn't. The East Wing is already gone either way.

September 7, 2026supreme-court · white-house-ballroom · separation-of-powers